Tag Archives: my castle heart

The Missing Guest

1 Jul

SzabaBirthday2You’d think that the hardest time after losing someone would be the anniversary of the person’s death.

Instead, it’s often a day of happiness and dreams fulfilled, a time when you feel the deceased should be there to witness something you know would’ve been so important to them.

For me, it’s remembering my mother-in-law on my daughter’s birthday.

The first year, I expected it, so I was on guard. But last year, it walloped me.

I wrote the following piece from Szaba’s point of view shortly after Sue died. (It ended up inspiring me to write this book.) As I approach Szaba’s third birthday, nothing can explain that annual heartbreak like this letter.

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15 Things I Learned From My First Year on Twitter

7 Jan
"Twitter Bird in Read Life" by Scott Hampson, Flickr Creative Commons

“Twitter Bird in Read Life” by Scott Hampson, Flickr Creative Commons

I recently reached 200+ followers after a year on Twitter. I’m not sure what grade I’d get for that. (Solid C, perhaps?) To be honest, there’s still a good deal I don’t understand about Twitter and how other people use it.

All I can tell you is how I’ve used it and what I’ve learned, in case you’re also interested in taking it for a test flight.

Have anything to add? Still thoroughly confused? Let me know, and I’ll re-tweak (not to be confused with retweet).

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1-Year Blogiversary

22 Aug

As my Facebook page so kindly keeps reminding me, it’s Sue’s birthday today. Trust me: I know.

Not coincidentally, I started this blog one year ago in her honor.

Lately, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do with it going forward—and what you want from it. I wrote lists. I even drew a grid. Despite my marketing expertise, I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but … it didn’t help.

As you’ve probably discerned by now, I’m all over the place. I’m not a one-dimensional entity. Neither was Sue. Neither are you. Marketing has led me to believe that’s a problem, but I’m having a problem seeing it as a problem. Is that a problem?

All of us nurture, create, befriend, explore, play, achieve, inspire, remember, share, defy, and follow our bliss, in no particular order. This blog honors all those pursuits (and more) that I shared with Sue … and presumably share with you. It’s a devotion born of grief, awakened by the question that has haunted me in the wake of that grief:

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Confession

7 May

Yes, I was raised Catholic, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this.

It’s a realization I had when I read a stirring essay by April Perry. (Thank you, April, for writing it.)

And here is that realization:

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The Book Walk

30 Aug

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, witnessing the 3 Day did something to me. It called forth a booming rallying cry in my soul. It challenged me to make a difference in the lives of others, but especially for cancer victims and their families.

Months ago I started dabbling with a children’s book idea. Rather than writing another kids’ books about grief and coping with the death, I want to create something joyful and positive for children who never knew a special relative, like Szaba with her Grandma Suzy. I want to help transport those children and their families from a place of sadness and silence to a place of sharing, remembering, celebrating, and growing.

I know my idea has the power to do that. This will be my “walk.”

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In Loving Memory

15 Aug

This site is dedicated in loving memory to Sue LaGow A week from today, Sue would’ve been 65. Instead, she is gone, robbed of the rest of her incomparable life by breast cancer.

In title, Sue was my mother-in-law. More importantly, she was my mentor, inspiration, and dearest friend. And there are literally hundreds of people who would say the same thing about Sue. She had this incredible way of making you feel like you a special significance in this world and that you were uniquely treasured by her.

Her soul was a rare gem, glowing with tenacity and joy, pulling people in.

For those who knew her, we lost a beacon of life the day she died. And for those who didn’t—my baby daughter, Szaba, included—they missed the chance to see life the way only Sue saw it.

But Sue’s legacy is too powerful to let that happen. That is why I started this Castle Heart project.

For Sue and all of the other incredible people who’ve been taken from us before they were done teaching us all they had to teach—and especially for the grandchildren who need to know them through us—this is for you … and for them.

Sue lives on in the castle of my heart. She sets it aglow with her love, lessons, and life story. And if you take a look inside, you’ll find treasures waiting for you there.

Welcome,
Angela

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