Letter to a New Mom

Szaba Birth DayI recently wrote this to a friend, a new mom having a tough day. If any of you moms (or dads) find yourself in this situation, I’m writing to you now.

Letter to a New Mom

You’re going through an overwhelmingly incredible moment in your life right now. I don’t need to tell you about all the joys a new baby brings. You know all about those. And people love talking to you about those.

What you might not know (and people are less likely to talk about) are the valleys that come with peaks.

Letter to a New Mom

With a baby—or even a toddler, grade schooler, or teenager, for that matter—some days are going to be challenging, aggravating, and even tedious. It’s okay to think that sometimes.

It’s easy for people (particularly other moms who’ve moved beyond your current stage) to say, “Enjoy every single moment!” But the truth is, that’s not realistic. We’re all human, even us moms. (Though you’ll soon find you’re part super-human, too.) You are not a Stepford robot. Every moment simply cannot be perfect.

June Cleaver was a TV fallacy. They didn’t show her collapsing with a well-deserved glass of wine after the kids went to bed or cursing the dreaded black hole at the end of day: “Mom, what’s for dinner?”

NYSledding1There will be puke fests and blow outs and tantrums and grumpy spouses and “mommy isn’t feeling so good” days. And you know what’s fantastic about those days? They make you enjoy the giggle fits and impromptu dance parties and full-throttle bear hugs and late night cuddles all the more.

The key is to carve out time for yourself, too.  You need breaks to better appreciate what you have. If you gazed at a rainbow all day, its brilliance wouldn’t fade, but your perception of that brilliance would. If you swam in the sun all day, every day, you’d eventually miss a cozy fireplace and a cup of cocoa.

In order to fully enjoy anything, we need to occasionally step away and see it anew. Take a step back and really see the impact your thoughtfulness, smarts, talents, and caring are making on that new soul.

Take a step back and really appreciate the full brilliance of that new little person and the seed of what they will become, both separate from AND because of you.

Rainbow SzabaIt’s astonishing really.

If you always take time to step back and see, really SEE in full love and full reality, you’re already becoming the best mommy you can possibly be.


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