Tag Archives: sue lagow

The Missing Guest

1 Jul

SzabaBirthday2You’d think that the hardest time after losing someone would be the anniversary of the person’s death.

Instead, it’s often a day of happiness and dreams fulfilled, a time when you feel the deceased should be there to witness something you know would’ve been so important to them.

For me, it’s remembering my mother-in-law on my daughter’s birthday.

The first year, I expected it, so I was on guard. But last year, it walloped me.

I wrote the following piece from Szaba’s point of view shortly after Sue died. (It ended up inspiring me to write this book.) As I approach Szaba’s third birthday, nothing can explain that annual heartbreak like this letter.

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The Mother I Want to Be

9 May

Szaba_Angela_YellowTulipsIn honor of Mother’s Day, here are five ladies who taught me about the mother I want to be.

Who are your five? Or for the guys, what mom figures most influenced to you?

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The Game Father

24 Sep

God Father and ToddlerWhen my 10-year-old nephew found out we were expecting Szaba, he was so excited. He wanted to be the godfather.

There was only one problem: We’re not religious. Wait! Don’t click away. I’m not trying to convert (or un-convert) anyone. I simply regard spirituality as a very personal undertaking. You do it your way, I do it mine, and we’re all happy. Good? Good. As I was saying …

I was raised in a Catholic household and thus understood the importance of such a request, especially in the eyes of a child. The godparent-godchild relationship is a special bond recognized by the whole family. Essentially, it’s a mentoring relationship, someone you can always count on beyond your immediate family.

It was something I wanted to support, for my nephew and my daughter, especially given my nephew’s proactive interest in Szaba’s life and his recent losses of both his doting Grandma Sue and sweet Great Grandma Shirley.

Ryan and I talked about it and conceptualized a solution: The Game Father.

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3 Days With Shirley

27 Aug

Shirley, overcome with appreciation at the 3 Day.

Last year at this time, I was cheering alongside Sue’s family and friends at the Minneapolis-St. Paul 3 Day for the Cure.

Standing by my side: Szaba (well, she was crawling actually), my hilarious nephew Aaron, my sweet niece Ali, and Sue’s phenomenal mother, Shirley.

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1-Year Blogiversary

22 Aug

As my Facebook page so kindly keeps reminding me, it’s Sue’s birthday today. Trust me: I know.

Not coincidentally, I started this blog one year ago in her honor.

Lately, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do with it going forward—and what you want from it. I wrote lists. I even drew a grid. Despite my marketing expertise, I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but … it didn’t help.

As you’ve probably discerned by now, I’m all over the place. I’m not a one-dimensional entity. Neither was Sue. Neither are you. Marketing has led me to believe that’s a problem, but I’m having a problem seeing it as a problem. Is that a problem?

All of us nurture, create, befriend, explore, play, achieve, inspire, remember, share, defy, and follow our bliss, in no particular order. This blog honors all those pursuits (and more) that I shared with Sue … and presumably share with you. It’s a devotion born of grief, awakened by the question that has haunted me in the wake of that grief:

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Memorial Day Remembrances

28 May

Here are some of the many special people we’re remembering today and a little snapshot as to why.

I hope this little project brings a bit joy to your day and spurs you to share a story of a loved one with those around you.

If you’d like to add your own memory here, it’s never too late for that. All are welcome! Simply post a comment below.

Marjorie Henderson

(Pictured on her wedding day with her husband Donald.)

Confirmed sweetest woman on the planet. Avid photographer.

Loved Paris and anything blue and white.

Richard William Gabrielski

Thumbed from Maryland to Massachusetts to give me, his little sister by 9 years, a heart-shaped locket with the Coast Guard insignia on it … ON my birthday! When the sun came up my parents put him on a bus back to Maryland before he was AWOL!

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Pure Happiness

27 Apr

This Koop song is exquisitely lovely. I never get tired of it, especially when I’m in a peaceful and reflective mood, like this chilly, but sunny morning. I hope it reaches you in the same way.

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