10 Things in Honor of Sue

2 Dec

sueszaba_small.jpgThree years ago today, we lost Sue. It hardly seems real when stated so bluntly. And yet there it is. The facts belying a long journey of emotional pitfalls, resilient hopes, and surprisingly strong motivation.

On the first anniversary, I wrote that it “wrung my soul out to dry.” That emotion has mellowed over time, though it remains poignantly poised at the heart of today. And I still “wander through those last hours like the abandoned sets of a movie.” I don’t know when or if there will ever be a year where that’s not the case.

But I do know that Sue wouldn’t want anyone to waste valuable time mourning. Alive. In this moment. Together. That’s the mantra she’d want us to have.

So rather than throwing a pity party, I do the following 10 things every year on this anniversary, in honor of her life, not death.

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If you knew Sue, too, maybe you could join me or make your own list? Or, if you have your own annual loss to cope with, perhaps you could make a new list—your own call to action uniquely celebrating that person and how they lived?

10 Things in Honor of Sue

  1. I will spend quality time with a friend.
  2. I will go out of my way to make a child feel happy and loved.
  3. I will add a bit of beauty to my home.
  4. I will sing and dance.
  5. I will cook for someone I love.
  6. I will do something to spoil myself.
  7. I will call someone who needs me.
  8. I will do something healthy for my body.
  9. I will relax and reflect with a fine glass of wine.
  10. I will do or plan something bold, something joyful, something totally Sue.

To Sue and all those we miss. To us. To life.

If you have your own list, please share it here. The real potential of memory doesn’t lie in the past, but in its ability to influence the future.

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3 Responses to “10 Things in Honor of Sue”

  1. Jill Brokaw December 2, 2013 at 6:51 pm #

    Not sure what made me take a look at your blog today. I hope you can smile at pleasant memories and be thankful for the time that you knew her, and keep her in your heart.

    • Angela Taylor Hylland December 4, 2013 at 9:01 am #

      Thank you for the kind words and sentiment, Jill. We are thankful this day and every day for our time with Sue. As her friend Judy replied, “We didn’t lose Sue, we just had to trade her physical presence for some of the most wonderful memories we will ever have. Not an even trade, but no one can ever take the memories away.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Hard Part Begins | My Castle Heart - December 12, 2013

    […] last week, we were back in Sue’s home on the third anniversary of her death, in the very place where we lost her. Needless to say, pregnant and haunted by that […]

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